Checking out someone you met online, before Gilbert gets serious

Gilbert resident checking someone met online before getting serious, a private investigator check

Sometimes it is your own life. Often it is a parent, a sibling or a friend. Your widowed father in Gilbert has met someone online. She lives overseas for work, or he is a contractor on an oil rig, or a doctor with an aid organization. They talk every day. There have been no video calls that worked. And now there is a problem with a frozen account, a customs fee, a medical bill, and could he possibly help.

Or it is less dramatic. You have been on three dates with someone from an app, they seem lovely, and you would just like to know they are who they say before they meet your kids.

Both are reasonable reasons to check, and a private investigator can help with both.

Romance scam warning signs

These are patterns, not proof, but they come up again and again:

They cannot meet in person, ever, and always have a reason.
Video calls fail, or the camera is always "broken."
They move quickly from the dating app to text or a messaging app.
Their story involves working abroad, the military, an oil rig, or a long contract far away.
Money comes up: an emergency, a fee, an investment opportunity, cryptocurrency.
They ask for gift cards, wire transfers or crypto, or for you to receive and forward money.
They get angry or wounded when you ask questions.

If money has been requested, slow everything down. If money has already gone, see the section below.

What a private investigator can check

Arizona licenses private investigators through the Department of Public Safety, and the state's definition of their work includes investigating a person's identity, background, whereabouts, associations and character. For an online contact, that usually means the following.

Is this a real person?

Checking whether the name, age, location and job line up with public records. Running the photos through reverse image searches to see whether they belong to someone else, a common sign of a scam.

Is the person who they claim to be?

For someone you have actually met, verifying their name and history, and checking court records in Arizona and anywhere else they have lived, including divorces, protective orders and criminal cases.

Children

If they will be around your kids, checking Arizona's sex offender registry, which DPS publishes for Level 2 and 3 offenders, and other states' registries where they have lived. The private investigator can also check for court cases a registry will not show.

Financial red flags

Bankruptcies, judgments and liens in public records.

What a private investigator will not do

They will not hack the person's accounts, log into their email or dating profile, or put a tracker on their car. Unauthorized computer access is a federal crime under 18 U.S.C. 1030, and using a GPS device to track someone without authorization falls under Arizona's stalking statute, A.R.S. 13-2923. A private investigator also will not pose as someone else to get the person's bank details. If someone offers to do any of that for you, find a different private investigator.

If money has already gone

Act quickly, and in this order:

Stop sending money, however convincing the next request is.
Contact your bank or card issuer immediately. If it was a wire or a transfer, ask about a recall. Speed matters.
Report it to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov, and to your local police; in town, that is the Gilbert Police Department.
Keep everything: messages, profile screenshots, payment receipts, phone numbers, crypto wallet addresses.
Watch for "recovery" offers. People who have lost money to romance scams are often targeted again by someone promising to get it back for a fee.

A private investigator's report identifying who the person really is, or showing that their photos belong to someone else, can help your bank, the police and your family understand what happened. It will not usually get the money back by itself, and anyone who promises that is someone to be wary of.

Talking to a parent about it

This is the hardest part. People in these relationships are often deeply attached, and confronting them with "it's a scam" can push them closer to the scammer. A neutral report that shows the photos belong to a dentist in another country is often more persuasive than any argument. Some families find it easier to have the private investigator explain the findings directly.

If you think an older relative is being exploited and may be a vulnerable adult, Arizona's Adult Protective Services takes reports at 1-877-SOS-ADULT (1-877-767-2385).

Meeting in person, safely

If they check out and you do meet, the usual advice holds: somewhere public and busy, such as one of the restaurants along Gilbert Road in the Heritage District, your own car, and a friend who knows where you are.

You can browse private investigators in Gilbert and across the East Valley. Every private investigator listed in Arizona on Served & Found is a member of the Arizona Association of Licensed Private Investigators (AALPI). Our guide to what a private investigator does covers the legal limits. For the town as a whole, see the Gilbert page.

This is general information, not legal advice. If a bank transfer went out today, call the bank before you do anything else on this list.

See the board: everyone in Gilbert · private investigators only.